Responsibility

I'm sorry
that all of this fell on your shoulders
crashed into your lap to be hold on to
when I myself were swaying at the edge of something obscure
unable to decide
which way the true suffering was
I'd like to dry your tears
before you have to carry responsibility over me any longer
When did your parts change like this
when did I give in to my desires
to be weak and demand you to endure
the reality that I can't even comprehend

Surely you know as well
what loneliness feels like
and understand how greatly comfort is sometimes needed
But I got hooked on to it and now
I wouldn't want to hold anything inside
since I noticed how easy it is to use you
for preserving of all that unnecessary ugly
Out of the eyes, out of the soul
out of depressing me

Forgive me
that I drag you down below the surface faster
than I myself can swim upwards
One could imagine that I'm doing this on purpose
even though in truth I'd like to be you
take back your role
and save you instead of myself
I once learned how well the problems of others cover mine
even though they won't cure them
but I cannot do that to you

Don't bother carrying me on your heart
even I got tired of the weight
Indeed you surely love me, I have no doubt of that
not anymore, I have no need for it
But don't break yourself for me
it surely isn't worth it
And push me away when you must
so that we don't both disappear into hopelessness
I can manage a moment on my own
even if I don't want to

Translated by Sith Fisto.