One kind of disease

Fingers bleeding I try to write
what´s hurting me most:
nail clippers
I use them to reveal the skin under the skin
but I have to hide from gazes

Blood-shiny fingers
I try to grab something
but it hurts too much
I have to let go

In the dark moments of the night
I separate my fingertips and throw them away
By the morning they are already healed
so no one will see, I guess

No one will see
because I deny everything, ashamed

One kind of disease

Stay true

Do you know where your heart is?
It´s always comlicated
You shouldn´t really trust him that much
No, it´s not the right place and time

Stay true

He´s just seeking for happiness,
like we all do
So he´s ready to take everything he can
and then he´ll run
He´s interested in you for sure
since you´ve still got a heart

Stay true

I want to hear it from you

I want to hear it from you
All the words you left unsaid
just to keep me on my toes,
just to keep me interested in you

You are not interesting yourself

I want to hear it from you
The Truth you´ve advertised
To be honest I think it´s nothing but a lie
but it will be something new

It´s really easy to entertain me,
you know

You always find a way
to cover up your mistakes
and make me look good
Like we never did something wrong with our hands

It´s just a story you are going to tell me
but I have to hear it from you
because there might be something
that´s too close to the truth

This sorrow

This sorrow is not abysmal
but so it´s so deep
that it´s just the same
I can reach the bottom, some day
but I can´t get out of there
when the pressure crushes me

I rather fall forever
than lie on my back
I would flow through the desolation
Because the bottom is dark and dismal,
full of remainings of mourners

And I can´t get out of there,
not even by swimming

Comforter

Comforter must have no sorrows
You must focus on Other´s problems
and know how to solve them
You need to offer a supporting shoulder,
wipe the tears away with your sleeve,
be like you don´t exist

When you would like to tell about yourself
someone else is quicker and gets started
and never finishes out

Comforter must be kind
and you should not be selfish
You need to do anything for your friends,
anything

When you would like to fly high
somebody turns up and pulls you down
demanding you to die for him

Comforter is not allowed to have feelings
only lots of sympathy and empathy

When you would like to die away
there appears to be someone
who wants you to live for him
no matter how it hurts

The light

I´ve seen the light:
in the end of the tunnel,
in the breaking dawn,
in people´s eyes

I´ve seen the light
and it looks just like you

You, when you sleep
You, when you wake up
You, when you laugh

I knew what light was
or that´s what I thought

Never knew that it would be like you
Is it even possible
that a person remains immaterial?

Very, very funny piece.

Echoes

You´re the mumbling sound on the backround
that I can´t hear clearly, no matter how I try
Echoes, my hate and love relationship
Returning your voice
Taking the message away,
making it blurred

You are the child of my messy dreams,
grown by drugs and medicines
You are the creation of my wonky mind,
abused, used and raped by the owner

I´m trying to dream you my eyes wide open
Like I always did, when you were just a daydream
but nothing existing
It seems like you can´t be dreamt anymore,
since you have become too real
yet anything I could reach with bare hands

You are the child of my desires
I tried to deny them and leave them alone
You are the victim of my selfishness:
I couldn´t kill my needs like I was supposed to

This didn´t mean to happen
My imagination was just my ragdoll
And I could leave it anytime
But I´m just a human and went far too long way
trying to built a person to make me satisfied
By the lightning strike of my love
you woke up, came alive

You are the memory of the times when I was still sane,
now driving me crazy
You are the ragdoll I used to own
but this isn´t fun anymore

Again I hear your echo
it´s calling my name
I have no answer,
because I´m really afraid
Please be gentle, when you finally arrive:
My mind is fragile now and ready to break
So please be gentle and take the fears away

Inspired by "Dreaming Wide Awake".

Parasites

What´s the point of having friends
when I can have parasites instead?
As long as they need me
they´ll never leave me alone

I can sure keep myself popular

What´s the point of making friends
as long as parasites turn up so easily,
always not invited

I´ll be their queen

What´s the point of arguing
parasites don´t love noice,
they need peace
Someone they can trust,
someone who´s weak enough to protect them

What´s the point of complaining,
it´ll never be better than this

Daddy´s girl

Daddy´s girl
in every possible way:
in spirit and in flesh

In flesh

Just like mom and dad
back then, years and nine months ago

In burning flesh
born from the other

Daddy´s girl
in every meaning
genitive gives
In name and in words
in soul and in body

In body

that mom and dad created
to give back to dad
to be a girl to dad

In pain and in fear
in pushes and pulls

This land

Tattered soul
still restless above this land
Feet don´t rise fast enough
that anxiety would ease by running
But it´s a must, to try
because otherwise blood will stop flowing

Standing still, able to breathe
if there was a way to stop
But it´s a must, to race
just to catch a bit of air

This land doesn´t heal wounds with its nutrients
It sucks all strenght from what´s living
but never bears fruit
This land doesn´t ever end
There´s space above to run in circles forever

Lactic acids taste bitter in mouth
when talking with all the words in the world
so that press in chest would be ignored
when feet can´t get off the ground just to catch some breathe