Mourning

I´m having my mourning period
In my black clothes
Under the gauze look bloodshot eyes
when I glance up to punch intruders with my sorrow
Only You fit into my mind´s circle

With black lace gloves
I curtain my mauled hands
Blood-seeping fingertips

Whole body suffers from sick head
I cry myself weak
But I don´t want to fall asleeps and
I wait for You to come to this tomorrow

They made me give up our bed,
and Your clothes
But I´ll hold You, even if they cut my fingers off

Prepaid ran out, so did we

I hope you´re doing alright
I can´t call and ask

I´m worried, it haven´t changed

How are you, how was it like to wake up today
to rest of your life without us
I confess I didn´t even go to sleep

How did you fall asleep?
Poor me
I will soon dance on the walls
I start to text but luckily my prepaid has run out

Are you still sad or can you laugh now
Can you worry about me too

Rest of your life without us
I assume it seems better than mine without you

Forever here

When life is easy,
everyone loves everybody.
It´s easy to whisper to one´s ear I´ll be here forever
when death floats somewhere on the edge of our floating minds.
It´s harder to reclaim delicate promises,
if time runs out and new begins while we get forgotten.

Said to be

He takes my cheek between his lips
Sniffs his way to my hair
I smell tanned, said to be
How could I love him the best

Luckily he came not until now
when I know how to be the adult and safety

Slowly he presses his nose between collarbones
I smell beautiful, said to be

The wrong end of the tunnel

Now I know how this happened:
We looked to the wrong end of the tunnel, all the time
No wonder why we didn´t found the light
It shone to our backs all the way while we walked further away

It´s not the time to fall into bittersweetness, no
At least we know where to go

I guess it´s hard
How we lost ourselves
Maybe we can catch our footsteps

Human flare

I´m a human flare
Like a vortex flames beat against
Smoke covers the sky
and sucks my gaze with it

Pressure and heat lift
I disperse in sparks
My skin burns away and something inside of me roars
My soul glows with heat and it´s blue

I, the ashes, fall to the grass
I turn to soil and raise my children there

Homesick

You sat in the church and heard about the heaven
You missed your God so much
Felt like you are an angel, born in the wrong crib
You heard how good it is in the heaven
and you felt so down

But it´s wrong to hurry there,
so they told
afterwards you had done your best to get there
"It´s a great sin"
and you missed so much

Why your God doesn´t take his angel back home?
When longing hollows you
Homesick for the heaven

Sometimes is harder

Next time you ask shyly
I will answer "I´m all right"
All right, I have enough strenght to wake up in the morning
I don´t want to die away
That´s what I´ll say with clear eyes

But now I just can´t
I´m not all right
I need help
That´s not the thing you want to hear

Sometimes is harder than most of the time
But when you ask again,
I can smile back
I´m trying
There´s no reason to make you cry with my misery

Gentleman

For a while I thought I saw you coming by
I admit, I got frightened
What would you say now,
what would you do
I opened myself to you and noticed,
even though you are a gentleman,
I can´t talk to you face to face

I shouldn´t have opened my heart
I got frightened of what was inside it

In lieu of your love

Sickeningly sweet flowery odour fills my lungs
My blood flows to my thighs
while your gaze lies on my hurting face
Sweaty shirt stick to my surface in lieu of your hands

"I suppose we will see later?"
I don´t think so.

If I didn´t get anything from you,
I still had few new bittersweet rhymes
like I didn´t have them already too much

Can´t you have any mercy

Sense speaks and eyes tell the other story
You can argue but one of them will always win
Eyes dress up the beautiful truth in a lie
Can´t see, can´t see
if, then too much
Oh, if you just could listen to yourself

You are the most harsh

I´m coming in

Knock, knock, knock
Is anybody there?
This ain´t knock knock-joke any longer
I´m too far from myself
She won´t open

There´s a part that feels
The part who moves and speaks with a mouth
And then there´s me:
Stranger to my body
May I introduce myself?

Who am I nowadays?
I´ve lost my body to her

I´m not a silent person

I´m not a silent person,
and never was
Before you made me feel that way

Thoughts speed through my brain
and hit my mouth constantly
Now I have to throw it up to you
It´s going to be loud and violent

And you just have to take it

I´m not a silent person
and never was
Before you made me so

They are so big in my mind
and I´m too small to hold them back
It´s loud and violent now
I´m not silent anymore

This could be a song if I worked on it. But I don´t know... What do you think?

If I could get away

If I just could get away
By wings or foot
If I could just get away
So I wouldn´t have to suffocate

I don´t have enough strenght
I don´t know how to explain
Right now I just don´t have enough strenght to be here

There´s no end for this
And I´ll be next
I don´t believe in better future,
because there is no such thing

I´m tired and there is no solution
If I could get away

I´m alone
Not in this situation but still alone
I´m the weakest and I fell
Still I´m the one who will make this happen again

Fallen angel

Angel wings have fallen onto the floor
Now there is an angel walking without wings
No way to disappear

I should have loved you more
so you could have stayed pristine
I shouldn´t have taken you
You still had that child inside you

Where is the angel walking rigt now
Did you even take shoes with you
How could angel now recognize all the cities
When he can´t look at them above all