Underneath the Ice

I'd caress your head
if you ever let me to see what's behind your eyes
and allow me to understand more than
what you want others to see as well,
let me understand too
It's so cold and the compression in my chest won't disappear
it's like I was swimming underneath ice, banging the class roof
hoping it'd break
under my lips
even though my blood is already seducing predators bigger than me

My fears, problems define us both
when your thougths try to run ahead of me
and predict every single turn
I might come up with in my psychosis
this won't work that way
if either one of us can't breathe real air

I'd hold you all night and trough the dark time
if only you had bad days
so that I could notice them from something other than light shadows
and fleeting gaze
which smiles nevertheless when I ask
and even then you won't say anything
I'm not capable of miracles, I hope you realized that
I'm just as dead
here, in this numb water
as the bubbles explode in my throat
when I try to inhale

Nothing is limited only in the spirals of my brain
and this won't turn out well if both of us is afraid
and chokes the other in order to
stop them from disappearing
in all our carefulness

I'd love you
if only I dared
and if you asked for it harder