Trouble Sleeping

It's hard to go to bed
When the darkness jumps on you like it had been stalking
And your own little bed expands like the hole on the ozone layer
Bigger and bigger as time goes by
And I wouldn't want to close my eyes and start a new battle whether
I can sleep or not, that's a long way to go
And it's not even certain that I would reach the destination
No one can promise that

And the morning isn't any better, it's just as dark
And I'm not even sure if any time has past
Even though the clock is beeping fiercely, it feels no mercy
It does its job even if you refused to watch it
And keeps saying "you can't be tired get up already it's morning time to be efficient"

But I am not I cannot

Why should I when I haven't rested at all

Why should I when it's so hard to breathe alone
When it feels like the rest of the world is abandoning me
Like all the unwanted escorts
Screaming after it and hoping
That it has to slow down

When it feels like I'm truly all alone
And it doesn't even matter

I no longer want to go to bed because I have to
Or because it's good for me
I don't want to sleep because it's frightening

And it could be that in the morning I can no longer get up