Stuck in October

What does it take to move on?
Some say the way you get there is more important
than the actual goal you're aiming for
but I can't see any importance in trying to no avail
I can't understand hopeless tries
I'm not the type to dream of unrealistic things
just being eventually happy would be enough

Grief is a greedy guest
and it doesn't leave even when your cabinets are all empty
somehow it seems like the calendar is stuck in October
and the rainy days, cold nights
when it's too dark for the snow to come
and clean up this world

I'm holding on to the memorable things
don't get me wrong, I haven't lost it yet
unlike everything else, my sanity remains
This is just my way to keep myself from hoping
that one day I'd see the importance
in believing in life
This is just my way to protect myself
from being touched by someone again