Depression

I always thought
that if you need help every single day has to be like this,
blackening due to their weakness
sailing in the waves of meaningless
and ending into to tears shed in darkness
That depression requires forgetting everything good
and drowning hope into fragility

And not all my moments are like that, not all of them
not even now when though I tried, I really did
so we'd get somewhere
But no is no

I still can hope
I have strength to trust that one day I'll open my eyes,
sometime before Christmas,
and realize that this isn't all so awful
That my eyes have dried
and I smile even when you can't see me

I promised you to give up
when darkness becomes internal
When I stop reassuring that everything will be sorted out by its own
when waiting wouldn't heal anything anymore

I guess I can't sink any deeper than this, I'm sorry

I'm so sorry
that this won't have an end yet, not an end of any kind