Too Much Time

I have too much time
to think over the same thoughts
even if they'd never change
Too much time suffocating my breathing
when the future waits without an end
for me, who wants nothing else but hide
back into the time when I knew nothing
Of how bad love feels

Regret gets its bad will from memories
that can't be cleared by scouring,
won't reveal a reason to be forgiving to yourself

It's like I'm trying to wipe away
the movements of water, turned into fragile wave long ago
or return the particles of dust to their place
when they've once been flown into the air to dance their curse
even when they remain unchanged in my mind
But who said that reality would follow one's dreams

I'd just want to go back to the moment
when I just suspected my feelings
and walked fumbling in the fall and figured out names for them

But it has been too long time
and my persistent thinking can't rewind anything else but the chance to try again