Heavy with words

My chest feels heavy
As if someone had stopped there
Searching for warmth
A crushing feeling that I can't shake off
Creeps over me as we meet once again
I scream for the words
But they stay put
safe in my head going in circles
Shapeless pieces bouncing around

I tremble as I try to push them out
I create them tormented
And they grow within
But never become strong enough
I'd shriek out loud and shatter the windows
If the words just had sounds and syllables

I wait for the right moment
To shake off those satellites
make preparations and plead you to look in my eyes
But the words still won't leave
As if they were anchored to me

I don't ask for miracles
Simply want to make my feelings clear
During the day I chase for words
And at night I dream of them and of your replies
And as the morning comes I have forgotten it all
I practice speeches, write letters
And my nerves writhe as if death itself was holding them
The truth remains a dream
As the last minute evasions turn all to dust
Trying to foresee the answer, trying to force you
Into forcing me
Ask, oh please ask!

Ask, oh please ask
It's all I'm yearning
That merciful sentence that ends in a question
Demand me to reveal
Is what I beg of you between the lines
With hidden clues trying to lead you to the treasure
Grasp the little I give
Hold on when I try to shrug it off
Is what I'd beg of you
If only the words would obey

I dread I will sound old
Or that you start to laugh
It seems it will take a lifetime
For the right moment to come
So I'll practice speeches and write letters
In case you happened to read them

Translated by Sith Fisto, my beta.