And can you must

But I love the pain
as long as it´s mine
and it´s mine to keep
So go and don´t care
because you´re not like me,
you´re not this sick yet

So I love the pain
and I will take it all
All you can give
Make more if it´s almost running out
Make more to keep me busy,
dealing with it
so you can go
while I´m not watching
because you have to
hence you´re still not dying

My hands are cold and numb
You may let go, I won´t notice
So I love the pain
that I´m willing to save you
Believe me,
for a masochist this is the only way
Only way to do it
If it wasn´t you, it´d be me
And you must go,
fly like the happy times
which we had so little
You must go
as long as you can
And can you must,
since you´re still just the weak you

Game over

It´s not game over
before I say so
You think you can overpower me
and make decisions on your own
No, mister
You cannot, it´s just an illusion
I made up just for you
to make you easier to lead
where I wanted to take you
And you came
you weren´t even a dog on a leash
Because you didn´t make the choice to follow
You never had any

No, I´m sorry to say
but you´re the fool, the idiot
I was joking all the time
playing with you
Oh, call it cruel
call it whatever you might
It´s too late, after all
But still not game over
You don´t even know the rules
We never agreed to have such
but this is no democracy

It´s far from game over
I have plenty of lives left
But how about you?
I wouldn´t be so sure
I´m your god now
The administrator
Do you really want to debate?
Are you willing to risk it?
Well, it doesn´t matter
because I´ll do what I want
despite what you say or do

Yes, mister
I´m immune to your actions
It´s just boring to play alone, don´t you think
I needed you
and will need
because it ain´t game over
far from it
I don´t see the finish line yet
So bite me, hurt me every way you think you can
but mister, you can´t

It´s not game over until I say so

Please

Please, don´t just stand there and watch me fall
as if you weren´t the responsible one
as if it wasn´t your fault
Do something!
at least go away
and leave me
like everyone does in the end
Like everyone wants by now
Save my dignity
if you still want to let go of me

Please, don´t stand there and enjoy watching me
as if you were the sadist
I taught you not to be anymore
as if you wanted to see this
before the end of your days
Close your eyes
if it´s not too much to ask
And it´s not, I know that
Like I always closed my eyes
before you hurt me
so that I could believe it wasn´t you

Please, don´t stay there like nothing was wrong
as if you didn´t realize what´s happening
as if it´s happening too fast
Even if it was slowmotion
you could always run
Run away!
Like I ran everytime you tried to catch me
You´re cruel, there´s no doubt
not even in my naive heart
but please, go and kill someone else
I want to have this last moment just for myself

The one to blame

It´s you
ripping my skin off
It´s you
taking my last bits of walls down
It´s you
making me go through all this
But what for?
The benefit seems to be ridiculously small

It´s you
pulling me apart with every action you do
It´s you
the only one to blame
Why, I don´t know
and I won´t ask
The answer would hurt,
hurt even more

It´s you
revealing my vunerable side
The one that was non-existent for long
The explanation must be good
making this reasonable

It´s you
and I know that
In one point it could have been me
I was already killing myself
too slowly for you
If you had given me time
it would be all over by now
Because you got excited
and won´t let go

It´s you
making me suffer
and I suffer from you
But the last hope is still here
unable to die
Save it
if you can´t have mercy for me

Inspired by Super Junior´s song "It´s you".

Hardly

If I was like glass,
then you were fog, mist on the leaves
If I was hardly visible,
you didn´t exist at all
If I was open and sharing myself
giving it all out
you were taking it all in,
no matter how thin it made me inside

Closer you got me,
more interesting it became
No need to pull me
I came willingly
The first kind words made me instantly
an addict
It was sick, I knew it even back then
but for another reason

Pouring like rain
the words came out of my heart
I wrote them to someone who could treasure them
But you never did, or did you?
Well, if you did you would be here now

If I was a fool,
you were an idiot
If I insane,
you must have been crazier
If I needed someone to help me,
you needed it more
You gave me all that advice
but now it looks like I can´t believe them
Or maybe it´s easier to teach
than live up to it

What was the point?

I know, I know. My personal poems SUCK.

A nick in the internet

Your face still freaks me out
it´s damn scary to see you
with another name, another person
Not knowing if you exist
Creepy, creepy
my nightmares here, alive
Still not recognize you
from behind that name
as if the man who stayed awake all those hours
was just a nick in the internet
taking over its inventor

Your face wakes me up every night
I see it and want to run
but which way, I don´t know
I´m not angry but I don´t miss your lies
Another name, another personality
wipe away the guy I got to know
What you left me is beautiful
and I´ll treasure it till the end
If I could erase the rest
like pressing 'Enter' with my fist
and let it go away

Your name is not real but it´s all I know
and that´s the name I keep calling
I still check if you´re online, if you´re here
like you used to be, never for real
I reach over the past time,
try to remember your words
Pick up the ones that accidentally escaped
but seems like you hold it perfectly

I´m wandering and I´m scared
maybe even the false would have been better
better choice
but I made it already, now have to watch you go
Your name, your face
The ones I have in my memories
They´re not true, not to you
still, how could I let them go
since I can have nothing for replacement

No more reason to log in
to run from real world

I suppose it´s easy to know who inspired this one.

Butterfly

I called you butterfly
I made you my miracle
even when I put the words into your mouth
never had a single doubt
and blindly believed that you agreed
My love for you was so elastic
it had no borders
Only for you

I called you butterfly
like you had wings of an angel
I imagined you doing the things
you never wanted to
Something you never thought of
all the while I was playing with you
like you were a doll
But you were the master of the game,
you controlled me from the beginning
Naive eyes are easy to misslead

I called you butterfly
as you were beautiful as the sky above you
I believed you were something
in the end you disappeared
and I´m the loser of this play
Who chose to lie in the first place?
I never had the chance to decide
but you were ready for it,
you planned it all

I called you my miracle
when all you did was fooling me
I did not know your face, not your name
but hold on to them
as they were all that was given

I still call you butterfly

Inspired by SHInee song "Ring Ding Dong". It´s so creepy to watch it, and listen to it. And that´s what inspired this one.

Requiem

It's time for your requiem
Can you hear the bells?
Their booming carries the message
so they can open your grave
And secure your final resting place
I light a candle but won't yet cry
for it's only the first few chords
-We've still got time

Do you feel how the stone is pushed away
from blocking the mouth of the mausoleum
The men already working hard
digging a hole into the rocky ground
The intro is now over
and your heart still gets to beat
But soon, soon ends the music
as the final notes turn into sound
But no, I won't grief just yet
I have time for that later
and I can still feel your warmth on my hand
May that be a sign for me

So eager is Death to approach
the scythe burning bright
Fear not, for it is a gentle and worthy death
if you won't break before it
Now comes the silence
singing in the final whisper
No more ringing of the bells
you've gone away already
I place the wreath on your chest
you can close your eyes now
The journey to the afterlife is already over
for you have already arrived
and I can have my long awaited tears
but you can't take them with you

Translated by Sith Fisto.

Symbiosis

We´re feeding a dream inside of us
that is more real than the rest
than all which you can touch with your hands
Because matterial doesn´t matter,
it´ll be destroyed
and even if we forgot all what´s beautiful
creativity would be an endless power
And I don´t know how to grief the distance between us
or how to miss being close to you
as you´re right next to me in my soul
like blood in my veins

We´re carrying the shared hope
that is not a vermin but in symbiosis with us
And all the beauty can be taken from around us
but our inner visions can´t be contaminated
not touched with all the terror of this world
I wouldn´t give away a single piece of my castle in the air
to get items back
And your face is never too far for me to see
Ever
In my mind´s power you´re always present
as you can´t be forgotten
I don´t feel sorry for all what´s between us
it can all be beaten
I´m never out of reach
even if I left
I shall come back to you
in spirit or in flesh