Lack of Trust

I suffer from a chronic lack of confidence
a nasty disease that has a diagnose but no treatment
I know it hurts you especially when you admit your feelings,
name them in front of me
and I deny them like it was a commandment
like you were a liar without an objective view
about what you actually can think of me
Like I could dictate the line
for where you start imagine things for us

like I knew something

It's also a problem that I demand proof
constantly more and words are definitely not enough
you turn your back to talk to someone else and so
all your work is nullified, you get to start over
unless you want to get rid of me already

I don't do it on purpose, I just fear the pain
That comes with trust, automatically
the pain for being wrong
when you hushed those warning voices

wrong when you gave up your fears

I just need proof, more and more all the time
that you won't leave me

and lots and lots of patience

Translated by Sith Fisto.