Brave

I don't fear dark and the murderers that thrive in it
a little bit of high places and bridges though
but doesn't that only mean that my subconscious fear that I will jump from them
it sounds mad because I can't really come up with a worse way to die
But I don't fear snakes or the forest beasts
even though they warn you about them quite a bit
I don't like mice but one can stand them as well

My only rational fear is about wasps and things like that

What does the deepest conscious of my subconscious fear me to do with them,
is the sting a symbol straight from Freud

It would be best if it didn't, or what would that then tell about my sexuality
that it's the sting itself that I fear

But don't be fooled, I'm not brave
I fear a lot and all the time because the object of my fear never leaves my side

for I fear my own thoughts and what they can accomplish:
an enemy there, a bad word here, indifference in the gestures
anger, loathing, hate, contempt

Do they really exist, are they meant for me
I cannot know unless someone points me that I was wrong

and then I can fear again

I'm not brave just scared
oh if only I could leave this life so I didn't have to live like this

are my fears justified, I don't know but strangely they still keep me up at nights

strangely they don't disappear

Translated by Sith Fisto.