At least you can not

I scream from the top of my lungs
transform the final drop of air into a sound
Desperate endeavors are for the hopeless souls
for final consolation
When you need the very last push over the edge
the weak won't have the courage alone
The torment must be taken to the extreme
so that even death would be better
and I'm not too far from that either,
soon goes out my sanity and my voice
In vain will you come to hear it
once I have taken it to the grave
you weren't on time

When the wolf howls towards the airless sky
I have already lost my hope
I just don't know how to give up
even though I should
Your name is a curse and a prayer on my lips
Lips that hardy work
for so dry they are,
so far have my teeth sunken
I hardly know myself
Why can't I give up
when even I don't think you'll answer
even I don't believe in my delusion
I guess I want to be sure,
before the final farewell
that I have done my all
taken my insane plans to the end,
they are all that is left
from my prime
days when love was still a pleasure
in stead of a desert of distress

And so I scream
till my cords give in
it can't be too far
I feel as a ghost
or a wraith, incapable of leaving my post
But if I'm just a memory now,
can I even die?
Have you taken that final satisfaction,
final hope of peace,
in your belief that there's no hell
Have you redeemed that from my behalf,
just like everything else?
My dreams have only been wearing,
don't tell me there's no escape
What would I do then?

Only the echo answers my call
pointless, I knew it from the start
My lungs bleed
so worn out they are
but I'll go on until I drown in my own fluids
I suppose it's the end I'm worthy for
You never arrived,
in my eyes
So never come,
it would be too bitter
You must learn to give up,
if you haven't already forgotten me
The bitter end of my loneliness is here
Not all wolves have a pack
and not all can be loved

At least you can not
and I can't wait forever
may it be pitiful or not