Confessions

I've confessed countless times
my love, my love
the burning feeling inside my heart
the cliche I wouldn't like to admit
nor give voice to
but still, but still
I've confessed it to you
my feelings, innocently bare

I can't keep up with the numbers
filling up books with those same lines
is not worth it, is not worth it
No one would read them ever again
and the flame dances in my heart
it won't go down
Sentences, sentences
I know them inside out by now

I've confessed to you but do you know how I feel
can you imagine, can you imagine
how it hurts not to be able to define love
Such a cliche, such a cliche
and is there any other way to say it
but those simple syllables
Do you see the sign
because I can't neglect this much longer

Can you remember how many times I've said it

Turn Back Time

There's something in you that reminds me of the old days
Old, past days when something was different
maybe it was the air or the atmostphere
or maybe it doesn't even have a name
But I don't need to define it for I know what I mean
and you don't have to understand me
just trust me, don't doubt so much

There's something in you that makes me travel back in time
whenever I look at you I'm in the past centuries
Why, I can't explain
It's just the way you are, you entirely
not just the way you talk or dress
It makes me feel calm, as if I could fix all the upcoming mistakes
The sense of power is what I need
but with you I can let it go
because where you take me it's all good

Something in you turns back the clock and calendar
but still it doesn't have a date or time
It's peaceful, not to have the urge to plan the future
because it's already written and I know it til the end
and you'll still be waiting for me there

One Reason to Dream

There's only one reason why I lay down on my bed
and close my eyes time after time from the darkness
It's not to rest or have a peace of mind
when my thoughts stop running in circles
even if it's just for few moments
No, it's for greater purposes
I give myself away only to dream

And there's only one reason I dream
why I yearn for it like I was drowning
and it was my only hope to find the ship again
My body may need sleep to recover
not to let me down when I need it most
but for my soul there's only one reason to sleep, to dream

I want to reach you through the visions
my own mind creates for me
to be displayed when I'm drifting
between this world and something else
True or not, it's all the same
And does it matter if I would like it to be more concrete
something to hold with my both hands
Because just the picture is so vivid,
so beautiful to look at during all those hours I spend sleeping

I dream only of you,
only to see you again
Does it matter if you exist or not
when all I want is that illusion we call a dream
I wish to close my eyes again from the world around me
and see you in the reality no one can ever live in

At Ease

And once you smile again,
that smile will leave my heart at ease
as this anxiety fades into the past and will be forgotten
Right there and then
I'll be relieved from this burden
lightheaded and almost like free
Glimpse of that view
will undo these chains of misery

Yes, you're the weight on my soul
I cannot get rid of
and I'm sick and tired just like you
with this life of salty tears and bittersweet feelings
Inside I'm a wreck, waiting for a sign
Sign of peace your smile will give

I'll be almost like free

I'm patient but do I have a choice
It's not a new beginning or the dawn
that will wake me up from my apathy
But I need to see your face smiling and happy
just like it's meant to be
You know, that smile just suits you so well
Where has it gone and when will it resurface

Will I ever see freedom again

I think this is mostly inspired by the stack of pictures of Onew, the leader of SHINee. I just love that smile. Lots of possible typos.

The Name

The name I learned to love
Day by day it gathered more meaning
into its simple letters
until the point I couldn't even call it anymore
for it had become too holy
The name without a face
the name you taught me to love
The name without a truth behind it

I learned to love it
I learned to cry whenever someone mentioned it
and I'm not willing to remember
how much pain can one word cause
If god had a name, it would be like that exactly
not from this world
too great to be pronounced out loud

The name I tattooed on my soul
to have it close wherever I was
The name that has the power
to make me suffer but not kill me
And my love grew until the point
it had to die away
Not a single name can have that much importance
There are not enough syllables to hold it together

The name I learned to love
had to kill me from the inside eventually


I was in a middle of writing proper smut but then I listened to this song ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XNp_nUZouEQ&feature=related ) and it simply blew my mind away. I love Onew and he sounds amazing with awesome Wookie!

Time

Years make you grow old and bitter
even if your parents didn't succeed in their mission
Time goes by and takes you with it
removing the purest fragments of the soul
The past keeps piling up
and pushes you down with violence
It won't listen your objections
bowing only to forgetfulness

Life teaches and trains you
to fear the one that's stronger than you, to run away
from responsibility and death, those you need to avoid
The body matures and then grows old
The mind decays in it's own experiences
The clear slate of the beginning is covered with chaos
and you can't stop time
not even if you stopped measuring it

The years pass and take you with them
wearing you ever thinner and more transparent
and then comes age and takes you to the grave
It numbs you down and makes you give up
Pride is a pointless cross when life is hard enough as it is
The purity of the soul gates tainted as time goes by
and it can't be washed away

Mirror

I look at the figure in the mirror
a picture of a god that's waiting the lucky ones in heaven
I see the man that was created as the image of god
who isn't all powerful and doesn't posses unlimited power
not to mention faith
they must have been reaped away with time
as evolution worked its magic
I can only miss that what is taken from me, not the utopia
and I wouldn't want the whole world on my shoulders

I stare at myself in the mirror
I wonder where they have hidden the holiness
that should reside even in me
I cannot see it, guess I must be too earthly
and no one wants a god like me
wavering and self-doubting
for all the ones that have hope I wish it isn't so
that god isn't one of us

I examine the reflection on the mirror
I'm mortal and can succumb at any time
despite that all the power is on the man
my erring race
My gaze is met by good and evil
the power struggle between the god and the devil
but the choice is all mine