Confession

I´d like to believe you when you confess your love
Somehow it sounds too optimistic,
that you´d all of a sudden love me
you´d had loved me for long
That you´d find it important to tell me that now
when I´m trying to tell you the same
but just with different words
with more stuttering
With more natural hesitation
that fear of rejection causes

I´d like to believe you
and see the truth floating with your sweet words
see the honest look in your eyes
But somehow my foolish heart is cynical
and my mind can´t overrule it
I´d be happier, I´d need it
but I can´t take it if it´s not a gift
If it´s a sacrifice or a lie

It sounds like you´ve been practicing
and not because you´re scared
but because you want to sound believable

My words are true because they´re not sweet,
they´re very raw
And very rude, not worth writing down
But what is that, you suddenly loving me
when you´ve always told me otherwise

I have to refuse