Exchange

Let's change places
I'll give my body to you
and take your personality
embrace you with my flesh and bones
and offer a safe haven

You'll get my body to replace yours
the one that's breaking, though mine isn't alright either
I've taken care of it poorly
and done harm to it in ways you don't want to know
even though the bone-deep scars will be your flaw in the future

I'll sacrifice myself, give you a longer life
I'd disappear anyway once you move on to the great mystery
I'll get rid of the sadness, that's no sacrifice
and I won't be sad when this life ends
so little it gave me
Come, let me embrace and hold you with my soul
till I die from your brightness
And you get this
the one the priests call my tabernacle

From up there

Come on down from up there
come down here and see
what your dignity and pride have done
Done to me, done to you
What use to be we
alike love

Come down here to notice
that high up there things are the same
but the situation has ranged here
Oh I´m not me anymore

Fall, fall down
I want you to get hurt while you do,
no landing softly
no hands reached out to catch your body
Just fall, fall like gods do when the times are hard
Fall like all the gods do in the end

I pull you down, deep down
Don´t bother to escape
but face what your actions have done with all your pride

Done to my admiration

Apologize

I´m sorry to tell you
how tired I am of this
What this, you´ll ask
your eyes wide almost honest-like
But I think you should know
Is it so hard to be easy

Is it too hard to listen

I´m sorry I have to say it
because even though I know
it can´t be all my fault
my heart won´t let me hurt you
even twhen I know you´ll be fine in a week
You´ll find a new toy within a month
And next year you won´t remember me
or anything like us

I hate to name it first
to put an end to this all
What this, you still pretend you don´t know
I´m not willing to find out if you´re lying or not

The thought of you leaving
marking me as part of your history
is not pleasant
because I can´t do the same
but I still have to apologize

Confession

I´d like to believe you when you confess your love
Somehow it sounds too optimistic,
that you´d all of a sudden love me
you´d had loved me for long
That you´d find it important to tell me that now
when I´m trying to tell you the same
but just with different words
with more stuttering
With more natural hesitation
that fear of rejection causes

I´d like to believe you
and see the truth floating with your sweet words
see the honest look in your eyes
But somehow my foolish heart is cynical
and my mind can´t overrule it
I´d be happier, I´d need it
but I can´t take it if it´s not a gift
If it´s a sacrifice or a lie

It sounds like you´ve been practicing
and not because you´re scared
but because you want to sound believable

My words are true because they´re not sweet,
they´re very raw
And very rude, not worth writing down
But what is that, you suddenly loving me
when you´ve always told me otherwise

I have to refuse

Masochisim

It depends on how you define suffering
and for a masochist there's no such thing
For suffering is something unpleasant,
something you avoid
but those fools rush towards it,
create it themselves
It doesn't disgust them, doesn't push them away

So masochists don't suffer
they must enjoy this life more than the rest

A normal man avoids pain to the very last
a healthy mind doesn't need suffering, nor create it
for them red marks on the skin are not a part of the deal

Masochists don't suffer, don't feel pain
whatever you do, they'll ask for more, harder
You can go to the extreme,
no need to say you're sorry
Just go and try
what the human body can take without dying

Even though there's a difference between self-inflicted and given

Inspired by what one of my class mates said. Hope you see the sarcasm.

Meaningless

Now that my time is running out
I want someone to tell you
that you weren't meaningless
that just when I couldn't even think anymore,
you were floating as an image in my mind
I could have told you that myself
if I had noticed to do so on time
if I had awaken to the reality sooner
if I had gathered my strength faster

My last chance dried out
and I'm trying to give it to someone else
to take forward, so you'd hear it anyway
Girls always know, that's what they do
but I'd wish you to hear it,
so that it would leave a mark in your memory
and you wouldn't doubt yourself
that you wouldn't think you imagined it all
I should have made sure of it
made it into reality
But I'm week and a coward,
too much fear of rejection

You weren't meaningless
Had you had the means and time
you would have turned a masochist into a human
Now it was left undone,
like my love
Someone else will have to tell you
all the things you lost with me

Shade of grey

Just one darker shade of grey
in the middle of no-light,
the so called darkness
And I´m only waiting for your attention,
expecting you to notice me
Still you refuse to look,
refuse to see anymore, deny what you just saw
How can you forget
all the beautiful whispers
you filled my ears with
When we had time to be saved

Slightly different shade of grey
Different from black, far from light
Hard to lable and there´s no need
to put a name on me
Only when you want to call me
you´ll need it
But will I recall it mine?
Try it, try me out

So you leave, try to escape
from seeing me, hearing me
I understand you well
I´d do the same
if it was someone like me
asking for help
But for you, I´d never fall
I´d never fail but try and do
use all my might
to do what you won´t do for me

Just a shade of grey
nothing special, no need to save it
but you´ll notice if I vanish
You´ll miss me if I die
because of you

You´ll regret losing me

Satellites

The world has ran out of stars
so satellites will make my wish come true
Will be my wishing star
For even if all light has disappeared from space
I haven't stopped dreaming

Falling airplanes, helicopters
meteorites burning like torches
are glowing up in the sky
but bring my wishes down to earth

Too many stars have fallen
or consumed all their energy
I put my hope on satellites
Earth's eternal followers
With them my wishes can continue their journey
to the far-reaching future
where you can even be awaken from the dead
Into a new miracle

Maybe then the light of new stars will reach us there