God Valborg!
Hyvää Vappua!
Happy 1st of May!

How dare you

How dare you to love her
After all that crap?
It´s all history, so you say
But unfortunately it has an effect on you
It´s waste of time to dream now

How dare you?
She did nothing, didn´t she
She´s kind of person you should never hurt
You don´t have the right to say "I love you" anymore
Too holy for your sinner lips

You should be gone now
Not wanting her
Not apologizing
Not saying anything
Not waiting
Not dreaming
Get the hell out of here

Your face, his face, your face

Scary, how your face turn to his
Even scarier, everything feels better that way
When ailing wrinkle close to your mouth becomes a dimple
I´m scared of which swamp I´m sinking you
When I can´t pull you out either

When I lose you and find him
My joy is great
But as you come back guilt doesn´t remain quiet
Where the hell I´m stamping you
Can´t you oppose me
If someone has to get hurt,
Why can´t it be me?

Falling and saving

I fell into the water and you came
I fell twice and you came to save me
I fell again and you came
I fell, fell, fell
You came, came, came

Once you droped me into the water
To make me survive
But I was too scared and so you came again
And I didn´t learn how to swim

Horizon

On the way to horizon
Can´t stop right now
You couldn´t keep going
Staying hungry, that´s the number one priority
Never get satisfied
There has to be always more
Pushing you towards

You´re tired, but don´t go to sleep
It would be too easy stay here
Remember: never get satisfied
There´s more in the goal you´re going
You just have to get there
You made your sacrifice
Now you must keep walking

Within your head sleeping

Slightly snoring you slept beside me
More in this moment than awake
You never woke up to this place
You slept within your head, safe

I guess your parents didn´t remember
That you shouldn´t built human only with dreams

Once you woke up and couldn´t open your eyes
Pieces separated from your heart and got lost
You should have slept
Within your head

Lack of tenderness

I found myself crying
Wiping my cheeks
I tasted the salt in my mouth
And I couldn´t remember how I came there
Why my eyes bleeded tears
I just cried
Luckily no one asked or saw
I hadn´t been able to answer

Is there something wrong with me?
I think I need a hug

I almost found.

Take my hands

Take my hands
Take me where I couldn´t built my way
Somehow I just noticed
That I can´t make it

Take me there
Holding my hands
Where is too long way to go by yourself
Wandering didn´t take me there
I only fell my knees broken

Show me, holding my hands
That place, where I couldn´t got lost

Broken wheels spinning

You´re too close
To see how I make these broken wheels spin
Tackily, but I make

You have grown too close
To see that all this works without you
I´m the power of the universe
I might not notice you leaving

This wasn´t supposed to become personal
But it´s suddenly hard to abandon
These wheels spin
Slowly crumbling
Even without you

Feathers in fire

You´re building your own, personal hell
It´s faciler to deal with others´ pain
Than face yours
Here´s pain to suffer

Dreams and reality killed each others
It´s not difficult to tell who won
Flames licking your feet

You didn´t seek feathers for your wings for this
You didn´t find them for feeding fire
Smoke is black when it rises
Rises like you imagined you would rise

We used to be so thrilled

Everyone can win
But good losers are very rare
Can´t we just give up
When backing up would be better than going on
We wouldn´t destroy anything else but our pride

Behind us long time and many tries
Fustration and anger are huge
Is it easier to grip your hands into fists constantly
Than let go?
We could be so much better

We used to be so thrilled

Useless empathy

Her face is so pale and tired
I want so bad to go and hug her
But I can´t find the words
Even when it´s easy day
It´s better to turn away
Think: "Next time"

She has cried herself tired again
If I could know what wrong with her
What pulls her down
Rumors go around making everything so bad

Her hands are shaking and she sniffles
If I could get to the other side of the hallway
If I could make up something comforting
For myself and for her
But it´s so far away

It doesn´t matter what I think
Because no one can see what´s inside my head

I´m sorry, M.

Prison without locks

You don´t need locks to make a prison
Only prisoners
One can be enough
You knew it too
That´s how you built this
Hostage in your own mind

You rarely need a judge to judge
So you built these bars
You placed your verdict and a guard
Gaze attached on something eyes can´t see

Are you going to reimburse of good behavior
And shorten your verdict?
There´s no lock in the door
Please come out

It has been harder

Since you´ve been gone
There has been more room in my head
More space to feel the agony
When I speak I hear those echos calling back

Since you´ve been gone
There has been more time
More time to think my agony
And you know, thinking makes it bigger
I try to stay busy
Too much empty space in my calendar

Since you´ve been gone
It has been harder

Moon, do you hear me

I must talk with the Moon
Because everyone else turns away
Moon shows its face even to me
Black sun has covered the golden one behind it
My smile is plastic and my eyes are glass
System falls on me and keeps me on the surface

My blood turns cold and my soul congeals
I sing my eyes closed to the stars
I mourn in cold light clear drops on my cheeks
I get stuck on the edge of my bed
Can´t get on my feet
My heart hurts and my plasticsmile falls apart

Lil´ sis

Take care of yourself, lil´ sis
We all love you and don´t want to lose you
You´re the treasure we weight everything with
The one we protect
The one who makes us stay awake

You´re piece of us
All of us
Too big to be lost
Lil´sis, take care
So that we can survive

You´re the weakest,
But you´re the best-protected

See me

See me
See me like I see
Person you used to know is gone

See me!
You look at me like I´m not here
You look like I´m the person you let go

See me
As I stand here
Forget her, who smiles in photos
See me!
You look at me with the eyes of the stranger
Where has all tenderness gone

See me, I beg you...

The ocean inside of me

Bleeding, bleeding, bleeding...
I bleed
Only me and red blood
It runs, runs down my fingertips
Drops, drops to the floor, burns holes to the carpet
It´s easy to be for a moment

Graphs of red cuts
Beautiful patterns on my skin
Signs of shame
Scriptures of pain

Bleeding, bleeding, bleeding...
I can taste copper and salt
I barely feel!
If it could last

Flows, flows, flows...
Drops become rivers
Rivers make lakes
Many lakes turns to salty ocean

Goodnight kiss

Leave me alone if you dare
Turn off the lights and lock the door
Yes, you can
I won´t scream after you: "Stay, save me!"
But will you take the blame, if something happens
While you´re gone

Let the night come in
And leave me here asleep
If you really believe you´ll find me tomorrow

Goodnight kiss turns to badnight kiss
When you seal my lips
You can hide knives and razor blades
But suidical mind is inventive

I´m only scared

I don´t love you, but they do
So why you want to throw that away
I´d love to have that

You really want to waste all good they bring?
And take this little stupid girl
Who´s not even ready
They all love you
They all will hug you when needed
I´m only scared

In this case you can´t choose both
Not like you are used to choose
And I only say, don´t risk all you´ve got
You´ll miss them so bad
I know how bad it is

I´m homesick, all the time
I just don´t have it; home
Can you ever give it to me

Can you ever make your home to me?

Truth is another lie

It´s so damn easy
Just pretend everything´s okay
One thin, weak smile
You all believe in
Truth is another lie

Keep it cool
Don´t come too close
And everything´s okay
Look at my smile
It´s not real, but how can you proce it´s unreal?

Truth is another story
If I can fool you
Make you listen my truth
It´s your own mistake, and anyway
You make your stories as well

Eyes so dark, so deep

They said: Don´t give him any hope
But being hopeless haven´t done anything good
Eyes so dark, so deep
When are you too tired
If hopeless does that,
Hope can´t make it worse

Hopeless hope
That´s what I offer
Take it, if you feel depressed
I don´t have better