I´ve been reading some of my old stuff nowadays. It just seems really odd how I´ve changed. Those early, early poems seem really akward and childish. I can´t even look at them. And I can´t understand how you were able to say that you liked them. Honestly, if I had read those pieces first, I wouldn´t have bothered to keep on reading.
All your comments. Full of compliments, full of enjoyment and enthusiasm. Lucky, lucky me. Maybe I wouldn´t be here writing this shit without you. It´s a compliment or then it´s not.
How did you stand me back then? xD I must have been really, really annoying. Well, I must admit that I still am. But maybe, just maybe, I have grown a bit too while the world has moved on its route. I can´t say for sure that I´m any better writer than I used to be, but at least I can read my works without crying out loud how bad it is. Maybe I should cry, instead of thinking that I´m doing alright.
Sorry for this, I just had to.
Do not think for one second I ever found you annoying. I feel the same way about many of my oldest pieces - that they're childish and naive, and that I can't identify with them anymore. But that's okay, because we write to develop, and there is no worse critic than that of your own inner critic.
ReplyDeleteI do not read a lot of poetry. Very rarely do I find something that stands out to the eye and that intrigues me, again and again. Often I am so busy writing my own stuff that it's hard to find time for other people's stuff. But I've always had time for your pieces, because there is something behind them that shines through. You write in a way as if you were multiply wounded by the world, but you are still able to look at it in cold blood and describe what you see. Just like me you are in the glass jar, although we both stray out of it more and more.
Keep going. Don't lose faith. I have faith in you!
(just count all the typos there... well, you can´t because I fixed most of them xD)
ReplyDeleteI don´t have any words to tell you, how important it is that you believe in me. <3 every single person who has ever told me that there´s something special in my works has made me survive those bad days, filled with self-doubt. thank you.
maybe we both we´ll come out of our jars soon.