Basic lesson

Did you even notice that I died
Did you realize that it was for good
with no jokes there, seriously all true
I guess you didn´t just see me
like you used to back then
when you still knew me, a bit better at least
Before you learned how to not care
how to not feel anything
when all your beloveds are too far away

Did you recognize me when you saw me
ripping my life apart,
making it too torn to be whole
Or was it just a bad dream
like everything is
when you can´t quite grasp the feeling
of the days passing

I guess you just didn´t feel much
Didn´t feel like saving me
Back then when we used to be like lovers
you would have behaved differently
But then you learned something I never did
something I never wanted to
You learned how to be blind,
how to not mind
even when you lose all you called 'worthwhile'

Fight

The drama follows you
from your past life to your fresh start
which you surely imagined to be something great
but yet again you find yourself fighting the same problems
the ones you left behind,
the ones you thought through too many times
to be remembered
And the questions you never managed to answer
are still waiting for your attention

You tried to find someone else to do the math
Someone else to tell you what to do with your head
It can´t be working right
because if this is normal, how can all the others survive?
But the questions remain,
obviously immortal
They never range
because the drama is always the same

Regardless of what you try
regardless of who you meet
Regardless of what you want
you find the same doubts again
You can leave everything behind but not escape
You´d like to believe you could change eventually
How come you don´t see already that you can´t?

Struggle, honey, struggle
That´s what you promised
but you´ll never kill your enemy
unless you take your life

Reunited

The heaven needs them back
to be reunited with their wings
but what if I´m not ready to let go
of my guides,
given to me too late
to show me the right road
that would take me to the end
succesfully
instead of finding myself lost

Heaven needs them back
but so do I
Who shall win?
Who needs them more?
I can only speak for myself
and that´s what I´ll do
I´ll tell them that there´s no way saving me
if they should go

It was too late, I know
but what if there´s still another crossing
ahead of me
What if I´m left alone again,
left alone to choose
I need someone to tell me what to do

Please, heaven, just wait a bit longer
It´s just a while and
then I can be glad to give them their wings
and come with them
if there´s a place for me too

Devil

Are you serious
because I'm not quite sure
and you refuse to tell, you devilish creature
Yes, I don't know
when I don't recognize your tone
Your motives are the embodiment of mystery

You say one but what is that you really mean
Many things are left for guessing
and I'm no good at it,
nowhere near as good as you are
Even when you're drunk you won't let go of your secret
but cling to it even tighter
behind that jestering smile

You don't know me, this shouldn't be possible
You shouldn't know how to hurt me
how to cloud my weak self-respect
Keep your poisonous words to yourself
so to not create a mess you can't fix

Do you really mean
what you say behind your metaphors
Will you still keep your word
if your sentences are turned into plain English
into something I can understand as well?

It's a dangerous game you're playing
at my expense

Extreme, addiction

You were part of my sane days
now chasing me over the edge
with no sense of mercy
Isn´t it enough already?
Haven´t I gone more than far?
Haven´t you?

Extreme is never healthy,
like I didn´t know
no need to prove it
I believe you
Go away

I´m crazy by now
you don´t have to tell me that
but it doesn´t give you the right
to keep pushing me
closer and closer,
deeper and deeper
Just let it be

Ultimate is never rational
but something you should be able to leave aside
I´m not stupid
I can see it
and admit I was wrong
Now I´m not

Oh yes, my visions are blurry
I see only the lights
in the middle of the darkness
you´re creating over my head
to make me lost
I´m already your victim,
just forget it

Obsession is never pleasure in the end
when the joy goes too far
and starts feeling like pain
But it´s too late then
to regret, to be sorry
Though you could still die

I give up, happy now?
You got what you wanted,
I got what I deserved
if the world works the way you wish
Now I´m completely lunatic,
want to come and see me
like this, like I´m not

Addiction is never the saviour
it pretends to be
when you start playing with it
You think you can avoid it
but there´s no way escaping
Just let me die

Viola in the rain

You´re like a viola in the rain
you whisper gently and
brush my wet locks off my face
You bend down to whisper:
You shouldn´t hide your eyes from me
because they´re everything
I want to look at
that´s all I want, my viola

You´re like a wrapping paper of sweets,
you say smiling and touch my lips with your thumb
You´re so near
but refuse to come any closer
That´s fine, I´m happy like this
There´s something so innocent left
I wouldn´t dare to move closer

I just realized that you´re gorgeous,
you say and I can tell by your eyes
how serious you are
though there´s always something playful in your dimples
Don´t care to scold yourself fat
and never say you´re ugly
because it breaks my heart
to hear you say so
it´s not true,
you continue and I know
you really mean it

You´re like a butterfly flying against the window
pursuing away
will you let me to save you,
you ask and I don´t know what to answer
I´m insecure, I´m sure you know it
but like this,
your scent in my nostrills,
I couldn´t care less
as long as you´re there
everything still possible and made for us only